Things I Learnt Through Losing A Parent

I've spent a lot of time debating whether to post this post and I'm a bit nervous in all honesty. This Sunday marks 4 years since I lost my Dad, and thinking about this makes me realise how much I've grown as a person. I'm not looking for sympathy or pity, hopefully just to help someone else who might be going through the same thing.

It Isn't Your Fault 
No matter what, unless you actively murdered your parent, it is not your fault that they've gone. I carried a lot of guilt around with me after my Dad's death, but I'm starting to realise that I am not to blame for what happened. 

It's Okay To Be Happy
I felt guilty a lot after my Dad died, especially when I was going out and doing something I enjoyed (or even just taking care of myself some days), but over time, I've realised that it's okay to be happy. What happened doesn't and shouldn't define your life, and no matter what way you look at it, you can't spend the rest of your life being heartbroken over it, or it will absolutely destroy you. I'm not saying it won't always hurt and there won't be times when it breaks you all over again, but being happy doesn't mean that you've forgotten them or that they don't matter anymore. 

You'll Find A New Normal
At first, it feels like nothing will ever feel right again, but over time, you will get into a new routine. You'll create your own, new traditions, and yes, no occasion will ever quite be the same again - but when it comes to everyday life, you will find ways to cope and carry on, because what other choice is there?

You Will Adapt
I know it feels like it never will, and it's such a cliche thing to say, but over time, you will learn to cope with it better. I'm not saying it will get easier, because I don't think that it ever does, but you will be able to handle your emotions more and you will be able to think about your parent without feeling like you're about to explode or break down. 

Of course, there's plenty more things that ive learned over the past four years, and ive changed a hell of a lot.  Losing a parent isn't really something that you can ever prepare for and I still miss my Dad every day, but you are not alone. If you need someone to talk to, you can find me on Twitter here - feel free to message me and vent. 


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