Learning to accept who I am is something I've struggled with my whole life. Despite having so many positive, supportive, amazing people around me, as usual I internalised the negative comments and used them to torture myself at any given opportunity. 

A big part of my struggle with self acceptance was down to my disability. I reached 13 and resented and refused any sort of help. I didn't want to wear my splints or do my physio - in my head they made me different from everyone else, were all anyone would ever see and meant people wouldn't like me, thoughts sadly reinforced by a few comments off people I now realise are idiots. 

I absolutely destroyed myself, hating the part of me that I could never change and it wasn't until a while ago that I realised how far I've come with accepting who I am, disability and all. I was looking for a photo of me and my crutches for another post and realised that in the 9 years I've had them, I could only find 2 photos with them in out of thousands on my laptop. This really shocked me, my crutches are such a huge part of me that I couldn't believe that there wasn't more. It made me sad realising how much I hated my crutches and it was at that point that I'd realised that I'd accepted them - I used to be happy my crutches weren't in photos but somehow it just didn't feel right. 

I don't know when I accepted my disability, but I do know that the people who made me feel like that's all I am aren't worth my time. My disability is a big part of who I am, but I'm so much more than just cerebral palsy and crutches. My journey to accepting me wasn't easy and there was lots of ups and downs along the way (and even still the odd one now) but it was worth it. If you're struggling with accepting who you are, you'll get there eventually and remember that you are so much more than just what you see as your flaws. 


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