Over the past year, I’ve made a lot of friends and lost a hell of a lot more. Naturally, being me, I blamed myself for all these friendship breakdowns, but looking back at it, I’ve realised I’m totally okay with these friendships coming to an end and that, contrary to what I first thought, it doesn’t actually make me a hideous person.

The friendships I’m talking about are ones that happened quickly – the sort that within two days you’re declaring that you’re going to be friends forever and thinking that you know everything about the person, when in reality, you don’t know them in the slightest. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m very naïve when it comes to new friendships - I wear my heart on my sleeve, throw my all in and normally end up coming out worse for wear when the person I thought I knew isn’t actually the person that they turn out to be – and I always, always blame myself.

I’ve learnt, after going through this a few times, that sometimes you’ll meet people who will only be temporary fixtures in your life. Maybe they got you through something hard in your life, maybe they were what you needed at that point or maybe you just had a lot of fun with them, but that doesn’t mean that you owe them your friendship for an eternity. I don’t regret the times I had with these people, they’re still some of my favourite memories, but them leaving my life isn’t a reflection on me, or them.

I’m not saying I wasn’t sad over these friendships ending, I was – but I refuse to accept the blame myself. In some instances, yes, I could have done more, and in others, so could they – but that’s alright.

Of course, I hope that the people in my life now are here to stay, I hope I’m done with fake friendships, but I know that I might not be. I’ve learnt not to drag myself through a whole load of sadness and emotion for people who were only ever meant to be temporary because these people have taught me a lot – about myself, about other people and that it’s okay to leave people behind if they don’t make your life better anymore.


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